He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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