Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
