If that was your dad, he is hot
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
