Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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