Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize