Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
