Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
