there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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