he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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