Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
