I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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