Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
