She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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