He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My vagina is officially offended.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
