I looked at my own cervix.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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