turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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