I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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