Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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