we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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