i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
