i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
