This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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