Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
