I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
