i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
