he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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