you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
