So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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