I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
my poor anus
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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