I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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