I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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