perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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