I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
