i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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