I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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