I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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