I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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