They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
