Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
