just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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