i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
