I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
