I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
