It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
