Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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