This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I met the friendliest cop last night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
