You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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