Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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