If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
