you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
