I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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