Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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