please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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