im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
