just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
