YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
