Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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