Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
