Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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