haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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