"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
