hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
