please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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