so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
