margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
