32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize