it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
